This is me with the next generation of my family. My babies' babies! All seven of my grandbabies together for the first time. (I, of course, am the one with the big mouth!)
We aren't able to show Cindra's little "Bonnie baby's" face yet, as the adoption is still in process - but trust me - she's beautiful too.
My babies are 41, 38, and 34 years old (I started very young) - and to me, are still my babies. It's hard for me to believe that my children are parents of children these ages, when I remember them so well at these ages!
I don't know where those years went! It all happened too fast. I will be out in public somewhere and hear a child say "Mom?", and I'll turn around, ready to answer. When I realize that of course it isn't MY little child, I get this twinge, knowing I'll never have that experience again; that mine are grown. I'll pass young mothers with young girls, and hear them chattering - and I'll miss that. Or watch a mother pick up her toddler and hug them - and I'll miss that. Sometimes I actually physically ache from missing mine, the way they were.
And sometimes I want to do it one more time! I want to make it better for them. And selfishly, I want all those feelings again. I want to be a parent, knowing what I know today. Having the patience I have today. Being who I am today. But a parent only to my children! LOL (I'm not really the baby-sitting/raising type grammy).
I'm on to a different season in my life now. And that's as it should be. It's my children's turn to be the parents, to experience the ups and downs and highs and lows - and make their own memories. I'll watch them do it, and be happy that they are doing it better than I did, and that they are making their own memories, which will some day make them smile and cry, too.
14 comments:
good picture
I get those twinges to. Sometimes I forget my grandkids arte not my kids. Those were good days but then these aren't bad.
Great picture; I hope yopu gave one framed to every grandkid. That is a precious memory. Lovely post, as well.
Great picture. I keep waiting for those twinges but then another kid comes around ("comes along" sounds like pregnancy, I just keep acquiring children-- no, not on the black market, QD ((so, that's why your always going to Saudi Arabia)). I'm a granddad with a two year old. When will it end? By the time I feel twinges they will probably be from a bad back and getting my walker stuck in a crack in the sidwalk. yeesh!
Beautifully written post. Can really feel where you're coming from, even though I'm not there yet. Well, that's not entirely true. I do have those twinges for my only biological child who is out of the nest. Just wish I could pick him up one more time when he was still that chubby cheeked little guy and give him the longest hug. Peace.
jamesee-st-smile, thanks.
Cindra Jo - your turn will come.
Quilly-Sister, thank you!
dr.john and just tom:
thanks for sharing...I always think from a maternal point of view (duh) and didn't realize that dads would feel that too. It's always a good/bad thing at the same time for me.
oh Jackie what a nice words to write. reading your post to them and about them is like reading a love letter.
they feel your love and your pride in them hon. it is so vivid.
the grandchildren are just beautiful and my goodness you are a baby yourself. absolutely gorgeous! no wonder your girls are just beautiful..
i know what you mean about wanting to do the mom thing one more time..i struggle with that often..i stopped at 5 but my heart could have kept on going..
i too have the future to look forward to. when my kids will someday fall in love with their offsprings as i fell in love with them.
Thansgiving is a day to remember all that you are grateful for, for sure you are in my list. Thank you for bringing yourself and your family into my life.
chana - you are so sweet. I hope you enjoy your thanksgiving, we all have so much to be thankful for. And I know you must have great kids - they have a great mom! You are a sweet,compassionate, sharing woman - and I enjoy 'talking' with you! Thanks!
Beautiful picture! I'm so jealous of all the boys...4 grandgirls, no little boys yet! This was so well written you should really print it and keep it for a scrapbook.
Kat - Thanks, you are just too kind! Any chance someone will give you a boy grandbaby? Once in a while, I'd give you one of mine! LOL
i am of the thought that we should not pass the opportunity to ever tell anyone how wonderful they are...well, i just read Brooke's post and i'm so touched over all of your hearts..you have such wonderful kids. you did such a great job. and we, the world, are the better for it.
Chana, thanks, sweetie - but I think those kids might be wonderful in spite of me!!
Seriously, I guess we are a lot of 'heart'. We all love and live BIG, and tend to follow our hearts more than our heads.
BUT - ya gotta know, girl, we have our moments! We irritate each other, hurt each others feelings (not on purpose), have misunderstandings - just like every family. But, yeah, the core is unconditional love.
Hope your holiday went well today -I was thinking of you.
So you are Cindra Jos Mother and Quillys sister.....nice to meet you. I love this post, its the way most of us Mothers feel. I want to do it all again too...I want to hug my babies close to me after I have bathed them and rubbed baby lotion all over them, I want that feeling I had when I knew they were all safe in their beds sleeping..those were the most comforting days, werent they?
Oh, yeah, catch! And what about that 'smell' they have when they are so new and you're holding them in your arms and kissing their heads? That's Heaven. (And I don't mean that smell when it's time for a change!)
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