A Blast from the Past - for Cindra

I use to listen to music 24/7. And sang. Not well or even carrying a tune, but I sang. I loved all the 50's and 60's music, all the sappy do wop, etc. My kids knew the words to every country western song - long before that music was popular.

A few weeks ago, Cindra told me that she'd sometimes find herself singing parts of this song....
and that absolutely no one EVER knows this song. I think Auntie Caryl is the only other person I know that knows it - so here it is, Cindra. You can sing it all now, and amaze and astound your friends!

Rocky

Alone until my eighteenth year
We met four springs ago
She was shy and had a fear
Of things she did not know
But we got it on together
In such a super way
We held each other close at night
And traded dreams each day
And she said,
"Rocky, I've never been in love before
Don't know if I can do it
But if you let me lean on you
Take my hand, I might get through it" (through it)
I said, "Baby, oh sweet baby
It's love that sets us free
And God knows if the world should end
Your love is safe with me"
We found an old gray house
And you would not believe the way
We worked at night to fix it up
Took classes in the day
Paintin' walls and sippin' wine
Sleepin' on the floor
With so much love for just two
Soon we found there'd be one more
And she said,
"Rocky, I've never had a baby before
Don't know if I can do it
But if you let me lean on you
Take my hand, I might get through it" (through it)
I said, "Baby, oh sweet baby
It's love that sets us free
And God knows if the world should end
Your love is safe with me"
We had lots of problems then but
We had lots of fun
Like the crazy party
When our baby girl turned one
I was proud and satisfied
Life had so much to give
'Till the day they told me
That she didn't have long to live
She said,
"Rocky, I've never had to die before
Don't know if I can do it..."
Now it's back to two again
The little girl and I
Who looks so much like her sweet mother
Sometimes it makes me cry
I sleep alone at nights again
I walk alone each day
And sometimes when I'm about to give in
I hear her sweet voice say, to me
"Rocky, you know you've been alone before
You know that you can do it
But if you'd like to lean on me
Take my hand, I'll help you through it" (through it)
I said, "Baby, oh sweet baby
It's love that sets us free
And I told you when the world would end
Your love was safe with me"
She said,
"Rocky, you know you've been alone before
You know that you can do it
But if you'd like to lean on me...

My "Secret" Garden

This was our latest, and I hope, last big project. When we came home last spring we started work on my 'secret' garden - and that's what we've done most of the summer. We had the old 40's garage that was beside my garden, torn down last summer. Behind where it was, we had a new shop built which gave us access to the area behind my fenced garden. I decided I wanted a 'secret' garden; one you could only enter by walking through my existing garden, but one that wasn't a part of, or continuation of, the garden I had.

My hubby moved existing fence posts in the garden, so an entrance was formed; then started digging all the new fence posts. As he digs all these by hand, I'm amazed he supports my gardening. He used the tractor to level, to drag in a 'fairy' rock and a rock for my water feature. We hauled in sand, dirt, and 600 bricks for a small patio area. I laid every single one of those bricks! It's not completely level by any means, but looks rather like it's very old and has settled. I dug flower beds and planted, and then put in grass. We planted three fruit trees. What a chore that grass was....over 90 degree weather every day...I was sometimes watering it 14 times a day! But now it's done - and I be happier.

This is the LAST big project we are going to do with the land. I hope. I'd like one summer of just watering and enjoying. It's a big enough job taking care of the fenced areas as it is, keeping it weeded and trying to keep yard and gardens green all around the house. Am always afraid I'll run the well dry. But.....I DID love that fresh corn....and just MAYBE I need an area to grow a lot of corn in......

Favorite Photo

Thought I'd share one of my favorite photos. Color and clarity not of very good quality - had pretty cheap camera at that time. But the subject matter is of the HIGHEST quality!

Here are my girls, Cindra in pigtails (she no longer wears all that jewelry), and Brookie in the neat glasses (she always loved the glasses!).

They were such cute little girls. And, of course, are now beautiful women.

An 'Exciting' Sighting

We had an exciting sighting at our house this morning! I'd cooked breakfast for hubby and went outside to check the garden. When I came inside, he'd finished eating and left the kitchen. I went in to clean up the dishes, looked out the window over the sink - and couldn't believe my eyes! I saw a young moose right outside my window! This time, I didn't yell....but I quickly went to get hubby and the camera. He looked out the window and saw another young moose - and then the mother!

We went outside to get pictures and followed the moose from one side of the house to the other side. One walked into the front yard, but turned and walked out when the motion detector sprinkler went off. Those sprinklers make the deer run - but the moose didn't seem too affected. They didn't seem at all interested in us - but we were SO excited and sure interested in them. We usually see one, at some time during the year, but never so close. We took pictures for about 10 minutes, before they finally crossed the road and went down into the brush.

Terry and I came inside and he was going to unload the camera. I went back into the kitchen to take care of those dishes - and saw the 'daddy' moose right outside the window. I yelled that time! We grabbed the camera and came outside, but only got two pictures of him. We were like two little kids - practically jumping up and down - so excited that the whole family came into our yard. Well, I like to think it was a family but since it's rutting season, the male was probably just following the female. Terry said that I probably wouldn't have been quite so excited seeing them if one of them had tried to use the pond!

Happy Birthday, Melissa

Today is my son's wife's birthday. Melissa is a another of the special women in our family. She's overcome some pretty good sized obstacles in her early life, and is one strong, empowered woman! Melissa is a stay-at-home mom with four kids, no small feat, especially when you take into account that she takes care of my son, too! (I told you he was a baby! Probably requires more care than all 4 of the kids). I not only love Melissa because she is my daughter-in-law, I admire her greatly. She has an innate sense of who she is and where she's going. I am always in awe of the woman she is!

Family and Blogging

This “blogging with family” experience is affording me new insight to my family. I’ve found myself thinking a lot about our family, after reading daily posts from my sister, my two daughters, new friends who share about their families, and discussing it all with my unnamed sister who won’t join us.

Of course, I’ve always been aware of Quilldancer’s talents, her intelligence, prose and humor. I have some published works of hers, and have long been the recipient of her letters and chats. It’s phenomenal how her mind works. But now I am seeing strains of the same in my daughters. They also have a talent for expressing themselves, for sharing, for humor. And they have those unbreakable ties that are at the core of my heart. Like the family ties that I see as they correspond with each other and with their Aunt.

To describe my biological family as dysfunctional, would be describing it kindly. I had a councilor once tell me that it’s unusual that I have a closeness with my siblings…that the normal for siblings that come from families like ours, is to completely distance and divorce themselves from each other. That has not happened with me and my siblings. Thank you, Higher Power.

And my children, oh my. I have been so blessed. I always ‘maintain my gratitude’ for my life, for my family. Cindra, Brooke and Scott have been my very life. Because of them, I was able to carry on through some times I never thought I’d make it through. And like the wind that blew in my life…I’ve been some of the wind in theirs. (Trees that endure wind over long periods, bow with the wind and are the strong trees. Weak ones are toppled by the wind). Nearly twenty four years ago, I ended an 8 year love affair I had with alcohol, one that made me ‘emotionally’ absent, and that was at odds with being the kind of mother I wanted to be and thought I was. I was blessed in the fact that I got to end the dysfunction within my family.

I don’t dwell (too much) on the negatives aspects that were wrought during either my upbringing, or during my children’s. Since I can’t change it, I’ve learned to embrace the wind. What came before is what made us who and what we are. And oh how much I like who and what we are! No victims. We are strong. We are survivors. We are fairly intelligent, interesting and interested people, caring, thoughtful and loving. You can knock us down, but you can’t keep us down. Somewhere along the line, (the good and the bad) we got some hardy genes!

But the best of God’s gifts to me, is the love and like my children have for me. And that which I have for them. Not only do I love them with my life, I like them each so very much. That they like me too, is a blessing. Though they’ll always be babies to me, though I’ll always tell them what to do (not that they listen!), and though I’ll always worry about them – I am aware (somewhere inside me) that they are adults. Wow. I don’t know how that happened. But they grew up to be wonderful people. People I never get tired of spending time with, and never get enough time with.

Cindra is a vibrant, alive woman, with multiple talents. She has a great passion for what we are leaving the next generation, and she doesn’t just talk it, she walks the talk. She is the kind of mother to her children, that I always wanted to be to mine. Brooke is my mercurial child. She spits one minute and giggles the next. She is full of life and loves it, and it shows in all she does. She is in the helping profession – and gives of herself by going on missions overseas – to give back. Scott is a ‘mama’s boy’ at almost 34 years old. He has no problem with that – and his wife just laughs at him. He’s my baby, the youngest. Yet he’s the father of 4 children. He married a woman with 2 children, they had a baby together, and they adopted a baby three years ago. I think that this one fact will earn him jewels in his crown someday: if you observe him playing with his four children he loves so….I’d wager that you couldn’t pick out which one is his biological child. And I’d wager that if you tried, you would be wrong. What a good, honest, loving man he is. And what a sense of humor he has!

So far, this blogging has had great returns for me – and seeing my family interact in a different manner is just an added bonus!

Close Encounters

Had to share this with Sister Quilly.

This little deer friend came to visit a total of four times this spring/summer. The first time I saw her, I was sitting on the edge of one of my raised beds, inside the garden gate, and digging away. My cat was stretched out in one of the flower beds in front of me. I heard a noise behind me, looked up to see Miss Kitty in her usual position, and quickly turned around. There stood this beautiful second year fawn!

I yelled for my husband, Terry, who was working in the shop. When I yelled his name (and boy, can I yell) he came tearing out of there. He said later that he thought I was being killed. (Also said not to yell like that again!) I thought sure the fawn would run when I yelled - but she never moved. I was just in shock. I couldn't believe a deer came into my garden and was so close to me. Terry wasn't shocked, just worried about my getting hurt if the fawn felt cornered and got into a panic. He made me leave the garden and he shooed her away. She was definitely in no hurry to leave - she'd found all the tasty greens!

A little later I was in the front yard watering when the fawn came to visit again. She would come up and sniff my hand, but wouldn't eat the grass I offered. I was so excited, so happy, it was a great feeling. And of course, I yelled for Terry again. Things like this just don't happen.

I was beginning to think 'little Jackie is so special - the deer come to visit her'. And while I'm basking in my "specialness", the neighbors from up on the top of the hill came driving by. When they saw the fawn in the yard they stopped to say, "Oh, you met our little friend. She comes up and eats grain at our place and lets us walk up to her. She also goes to the neighbors on the other side of the hill and plays with their dog".

That deflated my balloon...guess I'm not so special after all! But it was still one of the highlights of my summer. I see deer everyday, more now that they are so hungry - but I've not had any "close encounters" until this year!

The Other Side of the Garden

Cindra loaded the template photo above, of the entrance to my garden (because she has a computer-challenged mother). Here is a view of the other side of this garden. I took the picture standing in the doorway of the 'secret' garden.

We have to fence in any areas we want to grow things in up here, as the wildlife are plentiful. Deer are so hungry now that it is so dry, they are eating things I've never seen them eat. My gardens aren't very large - but they're very beautiful.

When I moved up here, I ask my new hubby to throw up some chicken wire so I could grow a few things. He said he'd plow an acre for me if I wanted him to - and I just laughed. I told him I wanted to play, not work. So he started digging fenceholes. No easy task when our soil is clay! And he said there would be no chicken wire, that he would build me fences. And as you can see, he did a beautiful job.

I grow many 'mini' area of flowers and veggies. I personally ate every pea I grew this year - and all of them while standing in the garden. I can not walk by peas without eating them out of the shell. Cindra can't walk by tomatoes, and it's a good thing I planted lots of them this year. She and her family visited, and the plants had nothing but green fruit on them when she left. I planted a tiered strawberry bed for my departed grandmother, and a gooseberry bush for my hubby's departed father (we even had a gooseberry pie!). I grew a beautiful eggplant (and I don't like them) but loved watching it grow...such a delicious looking color. I have 20 Ponderosa Pines healed in with my flowers this year. We lost a lot of trees making room to build the shop, and now want to replace them. Just have to find the time to build cages for them first - and that doesn't look like it's happening until next spring.

I even planted 12 corn plants this year - and had the best sweet corn I've ever tasted. I had no idea you weren't suppose to buy ears at the store and then leave them in the fridge 2 or 3 days before you ate them! I will NEVER again eat corn that hasn't been picked the same day!

My Potting Bench

My hubby built me this potting bench this summer, for my "secret" garden. I found the little sink at a garage sales (for 50 cents) and he used wood from the 1940's garage that we tore down when we put in the new shop last summer. I decoupaged, using flowers and garden sayings cut from magazines....and voila!

Hubby thinks it's a primitive looking piece and he doesn't quite understand my fascination with it. Not only do I love the whole "yard art" aspect of it, I like the continuity of the wood. I like knowing that once it was a building on our land, and now it's recycled wood.

It sure isn't that I'll be using it a lot! I'm not a 'stand-still' sort of girl. It's like the kneeling pads one buys for the garden...I always have one, always think I'll use one, like the idea of saving my knees (or jeans)....but after 10 minutes of weeding I can look behind me and that pad is left behind! Slows me down too much to have to drag that along! Same thing happens when I'm potting plants - I just drop to the dirt where ever I want it. Oh well, it's beautiful to look at!!

Don't go there alone....or, We all have time...

I was talking to my daughter-in-law, Melissa, yesterday, about our family of "bloggers". She has been reading all the posts from Scott's Auntie, his sisters, and from me. And she's been showing the grandbabies the pictures, etc., that are posted, but said she does not have time to blog with us. I have a niece I'd love to see share on here, as well, but she professes not to have time. I was passing that along to Cindra last night, and she remarked on all the people that say they don't have time to blog.

For some reason, that stuck in my mind, and late last night I was wondering why we use that expression. When in fact, we all have time. Just varied amounts of it. And we use that time, for the necessities, and then for whatever interests us. So is it just a polite expression? or an excuse we use? Why is it just not perfectly acceptable/universally used, to say "I'm not interested enough to make time for that"? Because someone might think that another would take it personally and have their feelings hurt (they don't want to talk to ME?)? Because in our individual belief systems we really believe we don't have the time? Because we've short-handed our entire language, using contractions like 'wanna?" and changing all 'ings" on end of words to "in' " (as in "are you comin' in?"? This went on for some time before I chuckled at myself and realized I was doing it again!

I've been known to spend an inordinate amount of time wondering such important things as, "why is a chair called a chair, instead of being called a table?"! I would hate to admit how often I entertain important thoughts like these! And for how long! What a squirrel cage I have between my ears! Sometimes my mind scares me!

Friends of Bill W. have a saying, "Treat your mind like a bad neighborhood: don't go there alone". I think I'd be well advised to follow that advice!

Saying 'goodbye' for the winter...

The weather is getting cool and I soon won't be able to feed or pet my fish. I miss them in the winter. When the pond temperature reaches 50 degrees, I have to stop feeding them for the
winter. They go to the deep end (3-1/2 feet) and become dormat.

My koi will start swimming near the top again, next spring when the pond temperature starts rising. And then I will start feeding them again.

I like my fish. I inherited fancy fantail goldfish over ten years ago, when I purchased a house with a pond. Later, I bought some koi. Had "Hoover" and "Kirby" (named for the way they'd eat: as if they were vacuuming the top of the water) for several years - and then lost all my beautiful fish in one day - to a blue heron.

When I married nearly five years ago, and moved up here on the hill, my hubby hand dug my pond for me, and bought me koi. He used the tractor to haul all the decomposing granite rocks in for around the pond. We really enjoy the pond and the fish.

Shortly after I started setting up that first pond, I had a dream about fish! I dreamed that I was in some huge building where they had flooded it, and the water was up over my knees. The fish kept swimming by and rubbing against my legs, and I would pet them. Every color and size. I woke up feeling so calm and happy. I've never had the dream again - but I sure would like to!

Found another view...

Grown on cable stretched along side of garage. Tree is much larger now. Also, we took the garage down to build new shop, so tree now has fence behind it. Looks better.

Espalier Pear Tree

Here's my espalier (es-pal-yay) pear tree, grown with horizontal branching. You can also grow them with fan shapes, as cordons, or slanted, like the picture on Treemendous' blog.

I also have an apple tree and a cherry tree trained to grow horizontally.

As espalier trees are VERY expensive, we purchased semi-dwarf varieties and cut off branches and tied up others, until we got the shape. This tree shows end of season last year - don't know why I didn't take pictures this year.

I grew these, not so much as space-savers because I have a small garden(which I do), but because I thought it would be fun and different. And it is. My son, however, says "I don't know, Mom. Trees in bondage? It just doesn't seem right".

Change in the Garden

I keep walking out into the garden and thinking that it's time to start cleaning it out. We're going to be leaving next month, going over to see hubby's relatives in Iowa - before heading south for the winter. But I just can't make myself do it!

The coneflowers are so beautiful - I have white, yellow, pink and purple ones - still blooming. And so many green tomatoes yet! I can't just pull them out! Summer just can't end yet.

Oh well, I've had other years like this, when I just couldn't give up. And you know what? If it doesn't get cleaned in the fall - it makes good mulch for the winter and will be there waiting for me to clean next spring! I've never noticed that it makes much difference to the plants. Come to think of it, though, it would be hard for me to tell....I was looking at pictures of my garden from last four years, and it dawned on me that I do a lot of rearranging! Where something blooms one year - may not be where it blooms the next. My garden and I are always changing!!

Lazy Day Schedule

Ahhhhhhh, Sunday. This is what Miss Kitty and I like to do on our lazy day schedule! She always sleeps on her back - a very strange cat.

Actually, I like a nap no matter what the schedule is for the day! We were out in the yard or garden usually by 6 a.m. every day this summer, and again in the evenings until after 9 p.m. - but with a record number of days over 90 degrees - early afternoon was too hot to work outside, and perfect for napping! I loved it.

Starting tomorrow, I'll have to guage garden and yard work by when it's warm enough to be out there. The weather has changed here and winter is definitely in the air. And there is SOOO much to be done before it snows....bulbs planted, old plants taken out, new plants put in, seeds harvested, flowers moved around...I love it all!

Gussy Up!

Quilldancer, thanks for the new look! I like it. And I like the links so that I have "one-click-shopping"! And I love the picture of my pond....with my oldest daughter, and my youngest granddaughter! My blog is all 'gussied' up now! (Not sure that's a proper contraction).

Just came back from Caryl's, where I needed to use the scanner, and am happy to report that her house smelled like cherry pie - not burned/smoky chicken! Her candles are a vast improvement!

The sun was out today so I watered the 'secret' garden and the veggie/flower garden. And mentally made a list of all that has to be cleaned out. Sometimes, that's as far as I go...giving it some thought...other times, I actually get it cleaned out before spring. We've had a beautiful, hot summer and it was great for my flowers and veggies, BUT, always seems too short to me. It seems I do a LOT of work - for very little return. Actually, that isn't true. The return for me, is in the doing. I get a feeling of serenity when I'm digging in the dirt or watering, that I don't get anywhere else. I'm a very blessed woman, to live where I live and be able to do what I love. All I ever have to do is turn my head and I'm able to see deer, or turkeys, or birds, or hawks, or phesants or quail. And if I can't see them, I can hear them. I get so much out of being close to nature. There's a plaque in my garden that says, "One is nearer to God in ones garden, than anywhere else on earth". I feel it.

Visiting my sister and 'too much'....

I went to town to visit with my sister today. This is the sister that is 13 months younger than I am, and is the ying to my yang. Having lost our parents at an early age, and her and me being so close in age, we developed a (healthy?) bonding/grounding that nothing ever changes.

Although we talk on the phone daily, sometimes more than several times, we never run out of anything to say (imagine that!) and still need "visiting" time, too. Today I went out to look at the little fish pond in my sister's backyard, and she asked me to put water in it. I stuck the hose in the water, turned it on, and went back in to "visit" a while longer. When I was sent out to mail a letter, I locked myself out the front door and had to go around the house to get in. Good thing - since I found the water still running in the pond. Though to be more accurate, at that time, it was running OUT of the pond. Too much water!

I had taken my sister some of my garden bounty: onions, carrots, green peppers and tomatoes. She promptly chopped them all up and stuck them in the crockpot, and threw some chicken in a pan on the stove. We got to talking about 'blogging' and went in to her computer room so she could show me her blog. A short while later I went down the hall to the kitchen - to discover the hall, kitchen, dining room and living room full of smoke! Too much heat under the chicken!

Having two "too much" incidents - I decided it was time for me to come back up my hill - while my sister's house was still intact. But, I have to go now, have to call my sister....I want to know why I didn't hear any smoke detectors go off!!!!